Sometimes I feel like a sponge...soaking up all that goes on, in and around me....everyone's woes & stresses, as well as their triumphs and victories; plus, dealing with my own wild energy, challenges, victories and obsessive thought processes.
This is all self-created and I totally assume complete responsibility, but I want to share as I know you have been in this place and perhaps can stop the mad cycle from continuing in your life.
Last night at about 11:30 p.m. was a tipping point...
I taught phenomenal dance classes all week.
Ideas galore for my biz projects were downloading through me on a daily basis.
I counseled many friends in need. I received "bad news" & "good news".
I overworked myself (though was on fire with inspiration)
For the most part, I ignored my body's signals to slow down and take it easy.
I spent a lot of mental and emotional energy gearing up for performances, deadlines, collaborations.
And so on and so forth...
So at about 11:30 p.m. last night my brain felt full and my shoulders were tight. My man had also lost his wallet earlier, which was full of cash and we were searching all around and feeling into the panic (we never found it). Then I received e-mails from more friends in need with news and updates that made me weep with compassion and desire to make things different for them.
Why did I have to check my e-mail one last time?
Then I was supposed to just fall into a deep sleep with ease once my head hit the pillow?
I felt like a cat who had been over-stimulated and wanted to growl at any movement, sound, or new thought that dared enter my head. At the same time, I felt like a sad child who needed love and hugs and tenderness. My man wasn't going to give it to me. He was in dreamland (a place that he can go to no matter what is happening, and no matter how frustrated he is about his missing wallet).
I couldn't relax and my body was pissed at me.
My mind and body were on overdrive.
As a college student, I dealt with crazy insomnia. I allowed it to control me, run me down, and drive over me for months. Nowadays I make friends with it when it comes (which is rare), and use the awake time to practice self-love.
So, I got out of bed and rolled out my tight leg muscles on the foam roller. Then I got back into bed and listened to a self-guided meditation on my iPod. I was tempted to write in my journal, but before I could make that decision, I was out like a light.
Today I canceled my morning and early afternoon commitments and am here in bed, writing, healing, revealing, and sharing of my self so that perhaps others will feel less alone...and so that I can express to you how important it is to take care of one's self.
5 lessons from my week
1. Boundaries are necessary (i.e. no computer after 10 p.m., stick to work schedule as much as possible).
2. I am truly learning how to walk my talk on the self-love piece. Trial and error, baby. Grateful.
3. Self-care and self-love will change the world. Start with me. Take care of me first.
4. Cancel things and say no to things if/when you need to. You'll feel so much better.
5. Listen to my body signals!
Yes, the body piece. I almost forgot. Sometimes I am in love with coffee and I get into the habit of drinking 1/2 cup to 1 cup a day with warm homemade almond milk (yum). Sometimes my body tells me that it can't take the acid and caffeine.
I don't always listen.
Sometimes I love dark chocolate and like to have a few squares (or more) as a snack or dessert. Sometimes by digestion is super sensitive and doesn't want it.
I don't always listen.
So, I drank coffee and ate dark chocolate this week when my body told me "no". I did so out of habit and because I thought it would help me deal with the intense energy I was feeling.
Wrong. My digestion has been a mess.
So, now I'm listening and I'm drinking my green smoothies and making giant salads and steamed veggies with rice and no dessert or coffee breaks. I am being gentle and careful. I am slowing down.
It took all of this to finally wake me up. We can be our own worst enemies, people. Our thoughts, bad habits, self-neglect, tendencies to over-work and over-stimulate, escape and live in denial create serious breakdown. Let's stop it before it gets to the tipping point!
What messages has your body been sending you?
What boundaries or gentle guidelines would you like to put into place for yourself?
What daily rituals of self-love and self-care would you like to implement?
When we take care of ourselves, we are ready to rock the world...to change the world and make it better.
Start with YOU!